I don't talk about work here. There's a DAMN GOOD reason for that. And I'm not going to start now. I AM however going to talk some serious smack about the BS I've been hearing from my coworkers in the last few weeks of this pregnancy in hopes that some of you will either a) TOTALLY RELATE or b) learn what NOT to say to a woman who is 9 months pregnant.
#1: "When's your last day at work?"
How about this: WHEN I GO INTO LABOR. Don't look so horrified.
#2: "Are you just OVER IT already?!"
Nope. Actually. I feel fine. SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, and all.
#3: "You look like you're ready to explode!"
What primitive back recess of your brain told you this was a "good" thing to say?
#4: "Did you hear that story about how (insert horrible thing here) happened to some woman who was in labor / having a csection"
Really? REALLY?! STFU!!!
#5: "Are you sure it isn't twins?"
There's that primitive back recess of your brain, acting up again.
In other words, when confronted with a heavily pregnant woman, most people's brains turn to slush. Which is PRETTY DAMN FUNNY considering that pregnant women themselves are the butt of so many slush brain jokes. Sorry, but I've been pregnant for 9 months now and I've NEVER said anything as stupid as items 1-5 above. I'm not losing brain cells, everyone around me is.
The thing that bugs me the most is that people don't seem concerned about my welfare or about Bean's . . . they're just hoping to hear me complain. They WANT horror stories about swollen ankles, hemeroids and peeing 5x a night. Sorry to fuck with your world view guys, but I'm not a psychotic hormonal trainwreck.
Boy's office had a shower for us on Friday which was awesome and especially fun for me because I used to work with him . . . so I got to see a bunch of my old friends. After the shower we ran to the hospital to see my friend who just had her baby (Same hospital! Same doctor!) and I can't even tell you how much it helped to sit and talk to her about her experience and see her gorgeous baby girl. Hospital tours are great and all, but actually hanging out in a recovery room with a friend who just had her baby was PRICELESS in terms of easing apprehension and making us feel more prepared for the experience to come.
We spent the rest of the weekend inventing things to do to prepare for the Bean. We are so ready it is almost funny. Saturday I thought "Well, I GUESS we could go to Target and buy more diapers" then "Well, I GUESS we could go to Best Buy and pick up a little CD player for his room". We're making stuff up at this point . . . I guess that's better than scrambling though!
The laundry is done, the room is all set, we have diapers and baby shampoo and toys and books.
And pretty darn soon we're going to have a baby.