Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Vegas Rules

I've been getting a lot of "I've never been to Vegas!" and "I'm not sure I'd like Vegas!" over the last 24 hours and allow me to confess, I TOTALLY AGREE. However, having gone together a grand total of three times, Boy and I have compiled a list of helpful tips and hints to ensure that we have fun, whilst avoiding arrest, vomiting in public, financial ruin, etc.

1) NEVER stay at the cheapest hotel you can find. Because it probably smells really funky.

2) Likewise, NEVER buy the cheapest meal you can find. This one should be painfully obvious, but in Vegas I think it bears repeating: nothing you can buy for 99 cents is a good thing for you to eat. Especially if it is shrimp cocktail.

3) NEVER, and I mean N.E.V.E.R. drink anything that is served in a yard long container. Or from a slurpee machine.

4) Stay no longer than 2-3 days. You will be over it by then, I promise.

5) Play the penny slots. They're just as fun as the quarter ones and you're not likely to bankrupt yourself. Unless your self only has, like, $20 in the bank. In which case you probably shouldn't be taking a vacation.

6) Go on a weekday, if you can get away for one. Your hotel room will be 1/2 the price. Honestly.

7) Use the Monorail! It is wonderful and cheap and air conditioned.

8) Drink a TOONNNN of water and slather yourself with body lotion at least twice a day. No matter the season, Vegas is ARID. No moisture + bad food + lots of drinking is a recipe for disaster. So do some damage control, even if its only on the water drinking front.

Just for kicks . . . here's a photo of another wedding that happened in Vegas, 34 years ago: Behold, my 22 year old parents :). And YES, they're still married.


Anonymous New York said...

Good tips! I have to disagree with Rule 4, though! We went for 4 days in September (1st wedding anniversary, first time in Vegas) and ended up staying for 6! We didn't even gamble that much! Don't ask what we did, because besides eating I DO NOT REMEMBER. We mostly walked around and shopped. I didn't even sit by a pool. And I still cried a little when I left. :-)

Jane said...

*Awesome* photo of your folks!

I whole heartedly agree with your tips and have a few more.

-The swanky lounge at the top of THE Hotel at Mandalay Bay is awesome around 4pm. Open, but almost deserted, perfect for an early cocktail and the view is amazing.

-Try not to ride in cabs. The drivers are crazy and it is just about life threatening.

-The Voodoo Lounge at the Rio is very good and not as pricey as some others.

-Do see the lions at MGM! Awesome cage. I could put my hand right up to the lion's paw (through the glass enclosure) as the lion walked over my head.

-Plan ahead that one Vegas-wide evil plot to get you gambling is that no pool has shade. NONE. AT. ALl...unless you rent a cabana. $$ So time your pool trips accordingly.

Domesticrazy said...

I love the wedding pic of the parents!

Happy Friday!

HollyLynne said...

Anonymous: Where did you stay? Six days! I'm glad you had fun but I could never do it . . . after 2 the smoky atmosphere and dry air really start to bug, no matter how much fun I'm having.

Jane: Awesome tips! I agree about the cabbies. We take the monorail everywhere, but we had to use cabs to and from the airport and the marriage license bureau . . . and I did think I was gonna die at one point. They're SCARY drivers! I'm so glad it isn't just me! We did see the lions, but not from UNDERNEATH! GAH! Must go back! :)

Happy Friday :)