Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My Dad vs. The Flaming Oven of Death

I am absolutely capable of cooking dinner for 7 people. I have done it on NUMEROUS occasions. As such I didn't think twice about inviting a slew of family over for Sunday dinner this week to celebrate the fact that Boy and I are (sort of) married. I planned a menu of veggie meatloaf, lemon and parsley potatoes and roasted carrots. All things which, clearly, are cooked in the oven. Which should have been a no-brainer since I have TWO ovens.

My lower oven, however, decided to be not so cooperative.

I had the potatoes going in the upper oven and the lower one preheating to 350 for the carrots and meatloaf. My dad was knelt down by my fridge, across from the oven. I said "Dad, don't lean back!" (worrying that he might hit his head on the oven door, little did I know!), I opened the lower oven for the carrots . . . then WHOOOSHHHH! Blue flames shot out almost up to the ceiling.

Not. Kidding.

I managed to slam the oven shut pretty quickly and then ascertained that a) my dad still had (most) of his hair and b) I still had my eyebrows. Oh, and also, c) WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

I think there's something sketchy going on with the oven starter, and fortunately we've got two and one is in perfect working order, but SERIOUSLY, DUDE. That was a NOT FUN way to find out we had oven troubles. Not to mention the whole "new wife almost sets fire to home whilst cooking dinner, hardy-har" thing which is pretty damn near infuriating to me since I CAN COOK A SODDING DINNER, okay?!

Right. Moving on.

Boy and I worked our respective arses off AGAIN this weekend, getting lots of condo and pre wedding things done. We wrote most of our ceremony! We bought luggage! I finally found a bra that I think will fit under my wedding dress! We ripped out the second to last set of (GAH! AWFUL!) blinds in our condo and I sewed up new black linen curtains to take their place! Much was accomplished! And, you know, nothing burnt down. So, hooray for that.


Domesticrazy said...

I once turned on the wrong burner and burnt a hammer, but that is nowhere near the coolness of your story. You should add some sort of monster popping out of the oven, too, just for effect!

I love the family photo! And I'm glad your Dad kept most of his hair. Always a bonus. Can we see the new curtains?

Nutsy Coco said...

Wow! I don't think I've ever had anything that dramatic happen in my kitchen (thankfully!). I did once have a mini fire when some oil that spilled over the side of the pan went up in flames but fortunately it immediately burned out.

DomestiKook said...

and you thought your last stove/oven was uncooperative. Ha!!

Beans said...

Only oven story I have is that my mom caught a loaf of bread on fire. While taking it out with a dishtowel the towel caught and both went flying out the window. When I was a kid.
Yeah for family.

organicstills said...

Reminds me of when a frying pan on the stove ignited with a tsp of oil in it. Of course, not so easy to put out an exploding oven. Glad you still have your eyebrows and your dad doesn't have involuntary male baldness. =)

HollyLynne said...

Bonus side effect of flaming oven post: I'm getting GREAT kitchen disaster stories here! So fun! Keep em coming! :)

Camels & Chocolate said...

I love that you have one wedding down, one to go.

Also? I want your hair color.

(Your Blogspot won't let me type in my website down below, boo!)

Anonymous New York said...

Yikes! Glad your eyebrows are still intact! Wouldn't like to have those drawn on for your wedding!!

I once set fire to TWO peach cobblers AND an oven in my husband's aunt's new condo. Flames shooting out of the top of the burners and everything. And I'm supposed to be the family baker, right? Husband hits it with the fire extinguisher and makes a huge mess. I use the self cleaning oven and stink up the whole condo. It was a HUGE disaster. I never told them until they sold the condo. ;-)