I learned an extremely important lesson last night. It was the kind of thing I probably should've been told at some point in my life already (*pouts pathetically at parents over internet*), but in the event anyone reading this also is unaware of this REALLY IMPORTANT detail, I'm going to go ahead and print it here for future reference.
DON'T TOUCH WOOD GLUE.
Allow me to back up a few steps here. My Ikea dresser that I actually really like has been "dropping its drawers", so to speak, lately because one of the bottom planks which is held in place with a little wooden pin keeps popping out of joint. Last night I tried to "fix" it my usual way (by kicking the s**t out of it) without success. The F-word was involved.
So I thought to myself, "I'm crafty . . . I dont' have to take this . . . I HAVE GLUE!! WOOD glue even!!", and I stomped off to my craft drawer to get some Gorilla Glue. Problem was, I hadn't used it in a while so, being gluey, the tip had hardened over and in my excitement I squeezed the tube a bit too hard and . . .well . . . glue all over my hands.
So I went to wash them.
Which made it worse. Much, much worse.
Apparently wood glue kinda repels liquid. And the only effect washing had was to spread the glue around even MORE. So that my ENTIRE HANDS, BOTH! were fully coated. These are the things that weren't effective in getting it off: half a bottle of bath and body works anti bacterial soap, fancy spa exfoliating granules, a dish towel. This is what finally was: nail polish remover and a pumice stone.
Needless to say, my poor hands are now bright red, scaly, and hurt-y. As for the dresser though . . . I fixed that bugger up something fierce!